A foreman of a factory was making his rounds inspecting how all of the workers were doing their jobs. “Well” he said to one blond worker, “I see you are doing a very diligent job stamping all of the boxes ‘THIS SIDE UP’. “Yes” the worker replied, eager to please, “and just to be extra sure I stamped the bottom also!”
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Enjoy our collection of work humor, after all that’s what they are here for!
Lawyer Quote
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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Posted in Lawyer Jokes
Mean Boss Joke
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted.
The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted.
Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
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The Honest Lawyer?
The city miser was on his death bed, as his last request he asked to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest. “I know I am going to die” he said ” and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you to each make sure the money gets in the coffin.”
It was a few days after the funeral when the priest over flowing with guilt finally confided to the other two that he only put $100,000 back. “I’m glad you brought it up” said the doctor, “because I have also been feeling guilty, I only put $80,000 back.”
“You people should be ashamed of yourselves” stormed the lawyer “stealing money like that, am I the only honest person here? Here look at this” he said pulling out his check book, “look I wrote out a check for the full $150,000!”
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The Appeal
It was a Tuesday when the judge passed a verdict against a certain lawyers client. On Wednesday the lawyer rushed into the judges chambers. ” Your honor I just found out new information and I would like to file an appeal.” “What did you find out?”, asked the judge. After a few moments of silence the lawyer responded “well I found out my client has another $5000 dollars.
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Posted in Lawyer Jokes
Who’s Worse?
A Drunk climbs on a bar stool in a bar and screams “All lawyers are sneaky thieves.” A man stands up and says “Hey, I resent that remark.”
The drunk shouts back “Why, are you a lawyer?” “No”, says the man “I’m a sneaky thief.”
photo credit: ttarasiuk
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Lawyers Lie Joke
A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving the lawyer started protesting that it’s way to early for him to day, for he was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The listening angel agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and agreed to look into it. After a few minutes the angel came back and said “I’m sorry sir but I am afraid there is no mistake, we calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96.
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Posted in Lawyer Jokes, Long Jokes
Brutal Tactics
A man walked into a lawyers office and asked about the fee. The lawyer responded” it’s 50$ for 3 questions,” ” isn’t that a lot asked the man” ” yes” responded the lawyer…………….”and whats your third question?”
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Posted in Lawyer Jokes
Lawyers are not Really That Bad
Lawyers really aren’t so bad, it’s just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.
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Posted in Lawyer Jokes, One Liners
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