Enjoy our collection of women jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!
As the movie progressed I was getting more and more annoyed, WILL THEY EVER BE QUIET? I silently fumed. Finally after close to a half hour into the movie I tapped the blabbermouth  in front of me on the shoulder and politely said, “excuse me Ma’am but I can’t hear.”  “YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO!” she exclaimed, “THIS IS A CONFIDENTIAL DISCUSSION!”
Despite coming home too often disappointed, my son Adam had the habit of constantly going on blind dates.
“So how was it?” I asked, as he walked into the door a measly two hours after he had optimistically left.
“Well, lets put it this way” was his glib response, “she has the gift of speech, but unfortunately  without the gift of conversation!”
“Hi! My name is Gertrude,” said the lady next to him on the plane. Â “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! Â It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Â Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Â Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day.
Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! Â He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice “Hi Grandma!” It just gets me all teary eyed.”
After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. “You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise!
Tell me..what do you think about my Grandson!”Although Barbara was very generous with her money, and did give away a lot of it to charity, she had one hangup. She refused to answer the door for solicitors. Instead she would have one of her maids answer the door and give a donation.
Given the circumstances, the maid was quite surprised to see, that after a man showed up at the door with the proclamation, “I haven’t eaten anything in two days”, that Barbara insisted on seeing him.
“What did she ask you?” The maid asked the confused looking man as he exited her office. “I don’t know what she was talking about”, he replied, “she wanted to know what my secret was.”
Q. How many worn-out housewives does it take to change a light bulb?
A. one – Â ONE! Â That’s right you guessed it, it’s me! Why ME?! Do you think I have nothing better to do with my time?! Â DO YOU THINK A HOUSE GETS CLEANED BY ITSELF???!! Is it my job to change the light bulb too?!
I feel like I’m constantly running after everyone cleaning up their mess! HAVE YOU SEEN ME SIT DOWN ONCE THE WHOLE DAY?!
And if anyone else in the family ever agrees to put in the light bulb, they complain the whole way through like I am squeezing there neck. It would just be easier for me to just do it myself. Being a housewife is the most under appreciated job in the world!
I SHOULD STOP CLEANING for a WEEK and then you’ll all appreciate all that I DO!
