I was a little surprised when my son suddenly announced one day after church, “I am thinking of being a Minister when I grow up.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Well, I figure I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, and I think it’ll be more fun to stand and yell then to just sit and listen.”
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Enjoy our collection of people jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!
Used Clothing Joke
Always trying to save money, I often buy clothing for my kids from the garage sales. Recently, I purchased a new shirt from JC Penny for my 6 year old and was wondering why she was reluctant to wear it the next day. After asking her she responded,
“Oh, the store has their own washing machine… that’s why we don’t have to wash it first?!”
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Twin Joke
I couldn’t help laughing when one of my identical granddaughters tried insulting the other one, “well your ugly!”
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Posted in Cute Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes
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Good News Or Bad News?
Husband- Honey I have good news and bad news
Wife-What is it?
Husband-I’m losing my voice.
Wife-And whats the bad news!
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Posted in Men Jokes
Men? Fathers?
A couple had their first baby. After a week or so the mother thought she could use a break and went shopping leaving the little baby with the proud father. It was only a short while before the baby started to cry. The perplexed father tried all of the tricks that he remembered his wife doing but to no avail. Finally after a half hour in desperation he went to the doctor. After checking all of the regular things the doctor discovered it was just a dirty diaper.
“I don’t understand “the perplexed father said “I knew it was dirty, but the diaper package said specifically that it was good up to 8 pounds!”
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Posted in Long Jokes, Men Jokes
The Cemetary Plot Joke
A constantly nagged and harried son-in-law decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a birth day present.
The next birth day came but this year he didn’t buy her a gift.
The mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was he had forgotten this time.
The angry son-in-law responded, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
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Posted in Mother In Law Jokes
The Real Mother-In-Law
Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”
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The Continued Battle Of The Sexes
All of the relatives gathered together in the hospital waiting room tensely waiting the Doctors report. Finally after what seemed like hours the Doctor finally came out. “Well” he said “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I am afraid his brain doesn’t work anymore, but the good news is that there is a new procedure called a brain transplant. But I am afraid it’s quite expensive and it’s not covered by insurance. After a few seconds one of the sons asked “well how much does it cost.” The Doctor replied “it’s $10,000 for a male brain and $2,000 for a female brain.” The moment turned quite awkward and despite the seriousness of the situation some of the men actually started smiling. Finally one of the men couldn’t control himself and asked the question everyone wanted to ask. “Why is the female brain so much less.” “Oh that’s just standard pricing procedure,”the Doctor replied “you see we have to charge less for the female brain simply because they’re used.
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Posted in Long Jokes, Men Jokes
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