An immigrant from Poland who was married to an American barged into the police station out of breath. “My wife, she try to kill me” he stammered. “Are you absolutely sure?” questioned the police officer. “Of course I sure” he countered insulted “you think I dumb, look what I found in her purse” he said pulling a bottle out of his pocket, “look it says polish remover!”

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A couple walked into a cheap looking restaurant. As they were about to sit down they noticed there were crumbs on the seat, after cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table they sat down. A waitress came over asking them what they wanted, “I’ll just take a coffee” said the man, “me too” said the lady “and make sure the cup is clean.” The waitress returned with their drinks “OK” she said placing down their cups “now, which one of you wanted the clean cup”.

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A man gathered all of his children together and said “Children when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him , now answer me honestly, Who knocked down the outhouse? Finally the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. “Thats not fair” complained the son, “George Washington didn’t get punished when he told the truth.”

“Son” replied the Father “The difference is, that George Washington’s  father wasn’t in the tree when he knocked it down!”

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