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Enjoy our collection of marriage humor, after all that’s what they are here for!

The Bachelors Excuse

A recent study shows that men who are married live longer than single men, but they’re a lot more willing to die.

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Posted in Funny Sayings, Wife Jokes

Marriage Quote

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.

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Rating: 4.3/5 (40 votes cast)

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Posted in Funny Sayings, Marriage Jokes

Can You Hear Me??????

An old man went to the Doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The Doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.” The old man excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper. ” Honey” the man asks standing around 20 feet away “whats for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and again no response. Finally he was 5 feet away “honey whats for supper?
She replies “For the fourth time it’s lasagna!”

 

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Posted in Funny Speech Openers, Good Jokes, Husband Jokes, Long Jokes, Marriage Jokes, Old People Jokes
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Thoughts On Getting Married

Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken, and the only ones left are handicapped.

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Posted in Funny Sayings, Funny Thoughts, Marriage Jokes

Marriage Truths

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds!

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Rating: 3.5/5 (23 votes cast)

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Posted in Wife Jokes

Who’s Wearing The Pants?

A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just one man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more then anybody.” “I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.”

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Posted in Long Jokes, Marriage Jokes, Relationship Jokes, Women Jokes

Happiness In Marriage?

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

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Rating: 4.3/5 (15 votes cast)

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Posted in Marriage Jokes

Men Never Listen

My wife says I never listen to her………………………….or something like that.

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Rating: 3.3/5 (21 votes cast)

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Posted in Husband Jokes

Marriage Fight Joke

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ The Husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.’

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Posted in Wife Jokes

Happy? Married?

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

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Rating: 3.2/5 (25 votes cast)

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Posted in Marriage Jokes
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