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Enjoy our collection of marriage humor, after all that’s what they are here for!

Funny Love Lines

You’re like my asthma – you take my breath away.
Like dandruff – I can’t get you off my head.
Like my car – you drive me crazy.
Like dentures – I can’t smile without you.

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Posted in Love Jokes

Honeymoon Joke

Honeymoon: The holiday a man takes before he begins to work for
a new boss.

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Posted in Wedding Jokes

Marriage Truths

Marriage is a relationship were one person is always right…………and the other is the husband. -Arnold

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Posted in Wife Jokes
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Love Joke

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

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Posted in Love Jokes

Blood Pressure Joke

A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah,” the patient responded, “You should meet them sometime!”

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Posted in Doctor Jokes, Wife Jokes

Enough Is Enough

My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, “You’re next!”

After a while, I figured out how to stop them. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!

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Posted in Funeral Jokes, Wedding Jokes

Marriage Thought

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

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Posted in Marriage Jokes

Vacation Joke

Q. Whats it called when one spouse goes on a trip.

A. Trip for one, vacation for two.

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Posted in Marriage Humor, Relationship Jokes

Marriage Sports

A newly married couple went fishing on their vacation. Afterwards the wife’s mother asked her how it went. “Oh, it was terrible, everything went wrong, we overslept, and then we got a flat tire, and the worst part was that I caught more fish than he did!

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Posted in Husband Jokes, Sports Jokes

The Real Secret To A Happy Marriage

Jerry was at a marriage seminar, and the leader of the seminar, a lady, was asking everybody how long they were married for. When it was Jerry’s turn Jerry said that he was married for almost 50 years. “Wow” the leader gushed “that’s amazing, perhaps you can take a few minutes to share some insights with everybody, how you stay married to the same woman for so long. “Well,” Jerry said after thinking for a few moments, “I try to treat her nice, buy her presents, take her on trips…………. and best of all, for our 25th anniversary I took her to the Bahamas.” “Well that’s really beautiful, and a true inspiration for all of us” the lady said “maybe you can tell us what you are going to do for your 50th anniversary” she said with a smile “Well” Jerry said “I’m thinking of going back to the Bahamas to pick her up.”

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Posted in Husband Jokes, Long Jokes
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