While driving down a country road I noticed a car smashed into a pole. I quickly pulled over and rushed over to the traumatized women asking her if she was Ok. ” I’ll let you know after I talk to my lawyer” was her reply.
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While driving down a country road I noticed a car smashed into a pole. I quickly pulled over and rushed over to the traumatized women asking her if she was Ok. ” I’ll let you know after I talk to my lawyer” was her reply.
Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard.
One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”
So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar  to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.” “Oscar” hollered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!”
Larry was a photographer for the N.Y. Times, and was scheduled to meet a plane on the runway to take him on a job. “Hit it,” said Larry climbing into the first plane he saw on the runway. The pilot took off, and was soon in the air. “OK,” said Larry, “fly low over the trees over there, I want to take a few pictures.” “What do you mean?” asked the pilot. Larry looked at the pilot and answered a little annoyed, “I need to take some pictures for the N.Y. Times, so please…..” Â There was a long pause, before the pilot asked in a shaky voice, “you mean you’re not my pilot instructor?”
A cop is doing standard patrol when he notices a car swerving all over the road. He quickly turns on his siren and pulls the guy over. “Alright,” says the cop, when the man gets out of the car. “Walk in a straight line.” “I’d be happy to,” says the drunk “just stop moving the stupid line.”
I lovingly gave my niece a kiss on her cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Â Afterwards, I noticed her wiping her cheek. Â “Are you wiping off my kiss?”, I asked her. Â “No”, she smartly replied, “I’m just rubbing it in!”