Holiday Jokes

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Enjoy our collection of holiday jokes, after all that’s what they are here for!

Halloween Scary Joke

18 year old, Dan was walking home from a Halloween party at his friends house, when he heard a thumping noise behind him. THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. Â When Dan turned around he saw it was a coffin behindÂ him.

Dan started walking quicker but the THUMPS were still right behind him. Soon Dan was running, the coffin started running to.

NowÂ Dan was running faster than he had ever ran in his life but the coffin was still right behind him!

“HELP!” Dan screamed! HeÂ ran into his house and tried to slam the door but the coffin caught the door and started following him up the stepsÂ THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, Dan ran into the bathroom and grabbed the first thing he saw, cough drops, and threw them at the coffin….and of course the coffin’ stopped.

Rating: 3.8/5 (279 votes cast)

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Posted in Cheesy Jokes, Halloween Jokes

Funny Christmas Cartoon

xmas2

Do you know that Jesus is the real reason for Christmas?

Not to be mean. But he is.

Rating: 3.6/5 (138 votes cast)

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Posted in Christmas Jokes, Funny Cartoons

Dear Santa Joke

Dear santa,
For this year I’m requesting, a fat bank account, and a small body.

P.S. This year, please don’t mix them up, like you did last year!

Rating: 3.8/5 (204 votes cast)

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Posted in Christmas Jokes

Football Turkey Joke

A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. “Are you crazy,” hollered the coach, “we don’t give tryouts to turkeys.” Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. “That was amazing”, exclaimed the coach “I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?” “Don’t worry about Â money,” said the turkey, “let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?!”

Rating: 3.4/5 (79 votes cast)