“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”

“I would not allow this employee to breed.”

“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

“This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”

“I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”

“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”

“When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.”

“If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”

“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”

“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

“If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”

“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”

“Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.”

“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

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You are not totally useless, you can be used as an bad example!

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It’s amazing you love nature so much in spite of what it did to you.

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You are dark and handsome; when it’s dark, you are handsome.

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I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.

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I would probably find you more interesting had I studied psychology.

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Some people bring happiness wherever they go – you bring happiness whenever you go.

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