So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar  to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through the shiny waxed floor.” “Oscar” hollered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!”
Joke of the Day
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The following is a list of our best jokes. Included are various lists of top rated jokes, including also our personal top ten jokes, please enjoy!
Best Rated Joke
We strongly encourage our users, to rate the jokes that they have an opinion on, so that readers can find the funniest jokes quicker. The following is our top rated joke out of our entire database of jokes, so please enjoy!
| Title | Votes | Rating | Review |
| April Fools Day Prank | 250 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
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Posted in Joke Of The Day
Top 10 Jokes
The following jokes are rated the highest out of all the jokes found at Great Clean Jokes, please click on the joke in order to see them, enjoy!
| Title | Votes | Rating | Review |
| Horse Joke | 1063 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| One Letter Makes A Big Difference | 827 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| Get A Raise Joke | 376 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| April Fools Day Prank | 250 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| Amish Joke | 168 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| The Solution To Oversleeping | 127 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| Phone Meme | 124 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| Just Try Not To Smile! | 66 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee When.... | 46 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
| Happiness In Marriage? | 15 | 4.3 | -1.0 |
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Posted in Funniest Jokes
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Surgery Joke
Before going in for surgery I thought it would be funny if I posted a note on myself telling the surgeon to be careful. After the surgery I found another note on myself .”Anyone know where my cell phone is????????”
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Posted in Good Jokes, Surgery Jokes
Heaven Joke
A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”
“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”
“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.
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Memory Problems Joke
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”
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Can You Hear Me??????
An old man went to the Doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The Doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.” The old man excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper. ” Honey” the man asks standing around 20 feet away “whats for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and again no response. Finally he was 5 feet away “honey whats for supper?”
She replies “For the fourth time it’s lasagna!”
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Posted in Funny Speech Openers, Good Jokes, Husband Jokes, Long Jokes, Marriage Jokes, Old People Jokes
The Forgetful Actor
An actor had been out of work for 15 years because he always forgot his lines. Then one day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for a big part in a play. All he had to say was “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! After much worry the actor decided to take the role. Opening night arrived, and while he waited in the wings, the actor muttered to himself “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! Hark! I hear the cannon roar! The time for the entrance finally came and as the actor made his appearance, he heard a loud brooooom! He turned around and said, “what the hell was that?” -Robert De Nero
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